first official prenatal visit!!!

So today was our first official prenatal visit. And it was supposed to be at the 8 week mark, but today I found out I'm 6 weeks and 3 days along. And get this....my new due date is November 17, 2014. And omg, it would be totally awesome if the baby was actually born on that day (though highly improbable.) November 17 would mark the day that AJ and I got together in 2010 and the day we got married in 2012! So, happy 2nd anniversary to me!!! So today, hubby and I went and got our sonogram pix, and we got to listen to the baby's heartbeat. And we recorded the event.

I have posted it on youtube at the following address:sonogram video

The link I just posted leads you to a private video which only people that I choose may watch. I will only allow family and close friends to view this as it is a rather personal moment.

not morning sickness!

I'm almost entirely convinced that I'm not having morning sickness...that I have food poisoning or a stomach bug. I say this b/c my nausea and vomiting are not all I'm experiencing...I'm having issues making it all the way to the bathroom and I'm having diarrhea (not a pretty word, I know, and perhaps a bit too much information, but afterall I am documenting my pregnancy; the good, the bad, and the ugly!)

For now I'm feeling fine, but I have vomited today about  4 times now. If I'm still not feeling well tomorrow, I may call in sick on Friday. I hate calling in sick...and especially when I don't have any sick time to cover it. On the plus side, I do have my PTO to cover it, and if I burn through that I may be able to use some of my pregnancy leave after that. Though I have to say, I really don't want to do that. I want as much time with my baby after he/she is born as possible before having to return to work.

morning sickness?

So today is my day off...last night I had indigestion, but still wanted take out food....This morning hubby and I both woke up not feeling good. We believe the Taco Bell was a bad idea. I had some home made club soda to help easy my stomach a bit this morning. And then I made the mistake of drinking milk so I could take my pills (I really can't take pills with any other liquid unless I absolutely have to.) And of course sour stomach and milk don't mix. I'm not sure if it's the start of morning sickness, or if there really was just something about all that food.....but it had me praying to the porcelain gods. I'm feeling a bit better now, but we'll see how the rest of the day is. For now, I may decide to go back to bed as I am still quite tired.

pregnancy symptoms

Over the course of the past week and a half or so that I've been working on this journal, one thing I haven't mentioned yet are my pregnancy symptoms. I guess this is partly due to the fact that I'm not really experiencing any. Not to say that I'm not experiencing them at all, but more that they're more subtle. And I don't know if it's b/c I'm very early in my pregnancy, or if it's b/c I'm actually going to have a fairly easy pregnancy.

So far I've experienced dizziness, nauseousness, upset stomach, cramping, inability to sleep well or to get comfortable in bed, slight increase in frequency of urination, and at times increase in appetite.

I guess the biggest pregnancy symptom that I've thus far experienced which honestly really cements my pregnancy is the fact that I have missed my period entirely and there is no period in sight. If I were to have my period, I would have had it between March 2 and March 9. And today is March 14. Though there is the sonogram I got which proved to me that there is really a baby in there growing.

I can't wait until my next doctor's appointment; I am really looking forward to talking to the doctor and seeing my baby again. I guess at that appointment we'll be able to hear a heartbeat. I'm having the appointment a little early because we have to have it on a Thursday. I'm going to schedule all of my prenatal visits on Thursdays b/c that's the one day that AJ and I both have off together.

It was so funny yesterday when we went to schedule the appointment, the lady asked me if some Friday was ok for the appointment....I told her it needs to be on a Thursday, and I told her "I know that's pretty specific of a day, but that's the only day we'll both be able to come." I loved her reaction...she said "well, then it has to be on Thursday!" with a nice big smile on her face.

One thing I need to bring up with my doctor is the fact that I'm getting really bad numbness in my hands when I'm sleeping. It's getting to a point where it's taking forever for me to get the feeling back in my fingers. Hopefully a new bed will help alleviate some of these issues. AJ and I will be looking this weekend into getting a new bed.

prenatal orientation class

So today, hubby and I went to a prenatal orientation class (where we ran into a guy he knows from his newspaper route) and they had a lot of useful information to offer.

One thing we did there was fill out a bunch of paperwork concerning genetics testing and such. There was a slide show that talked about services at Kaiser and how to use their resources and such. And it talked about what we can expect as far as appointments go from now until we deliver and even into postpartum.

I have to say one thing in particular that I'm highly impressed with is the fact that when I do give birth at Kaiser, I'm guaranteed a private room as all of their labor and delivery rooms are private, they all have couches and they encourage the partner to stay the night. And not only that, but they don't whisk the baby away to a nursery, unless there's an emergency with the baby. The baby stays in the room with the parents. Which I have to say I'm highly excited about because that is something I was concerned with.

I just think that if you're going to spend 9 months waiting for your baby, you're not going to wanna let your baby go when you finally do meet him/her. That's just my look at it.

Anyway, during the class we were all told that after the class was over we were to head up to the 3rd floor to make appointments with our OB/GYN's and then we were to head back down to the first floor for blood work if we had the time today, so hubby and I did just that.

Now, my next appointment is going to be on March 27, 2014 with an OB/GYN who is not my doctor (named Dr. Hongmei Meng)...but the ironic thing is that my OB/GYN (Yanina Greenstein) is out on maternity leave right now. However, by the next scheduled appointment after this one on the 27th, I'll actually get a chance to meet my OB/GYN and get to know her and work with her until my baby arrives.

I so really hope this works out for us. I have really been wanting this for awhile, and it feels like a dream come true.

my first sonogram

So I went to the doctor to see how the pregnancy is coming along, and this is what he found. He says that the gestational sack is in the uterus where it should be. These two pictures sort of cement my pregnancy a bit :) So now I have a prenatal orientation class on Thursday 3/13/14 to attend. I can't believe all of this is real. But I will say that my nerves have finally calmed down some, so hopefully now I can enjoy my pregnancy :)

my first DR's appointment

So yesterday I actually got an email saying they couldn't schedule me for the times in which I had requested. So I looked around online until I found a phone number that I could call to make an appointment...of course they asked me a million questions regarding my health and my pregnancy. I mentioned having cramping, and the lady transferred me to a nurse so I could talk to her about this. That nurse set me up with an appointment this morning at 8:30.

 So I woke up early and took a shower, and now I'm waiting to get ready to leave for this appointment. I'm a bit nervous about his appointment, I'm wondering what exactly the DR is going to look at...ask....etc.

I know I'm going to have to tell him about my colposcopy and my more recent leep procedures. And I'm going to mention to him how I felt at work yesterday (which I did not feel well.) I'll post again after my appointment if I have time before work.

Before I go, I'd like to mention that today's appointment is with a doctor named Ly Truong.

doctors results....

This is the test result I got back from my doctor...it's a bit confusing to me....I don't know what standard range is or why it is negative, and I'm not entirely sure, but I think the actual result is the "your value" portion. I took another HPT and here is what it looks like:

so I sent a request for a prenatal visit with my OB/GYN and that'll take place between the 19th and the 27th on a weds or a thurs. I realize that's only one of 4 possible days, but I'll find out tomorrow my apt day and time.

pregnancy test

ok, so get this, I went to the doctors office today to get my pregnancy test done....the lady pointed me to where I could go use the bathroom so I could be tested....I go back into the waiting area with hubby, and we were there for awhile waiting for results...then the lady asked me if there was a reason we were still there. I've never had a pregnancy test done at this place before, or any other lab work....I'm a new patient of Kaiser, and was not informed that my pregnancy test results would not be made available right then. She then informed me that the test results will be available to me online tonight or tomorrow; and that it usually takes about 24 hours before they'll be available.

In the meantime I'm in limbo over here waiting for the results to try to get the ball rolling. At this point I'm positive that I'm pregnant, and I want to be able to talk to my doctor about it, and to let my employer know about it. And I can't do that until I get the result.

I took today off work, so did hubby. Since neither of us slept well, we called in sick to work and stayed home so we could go to the doctors office and come home for a nap. I'm glad I did that. I don't regret taking this time.

I'm a nervous wreck, and I don't know if that's why I haven't been sleeping or what...but hubby and I decided to switch sides of the bed since I've been unable to get comfortable lately, and that seemed to work for the nap we took today. Hopefully tonight I'll sleep a little better. Either way, I'm going to work tomorrow and the next day.

sleepless nights before work days

I have not been sleeping well lately, and I don't know if it's because I'm excited about being pregnant, the idea that I can't wait to take my next pregnancy test to see if it is positive....if it's worry over the fact that I shouldn't be pregnant just yet....or what.

I'm considering just calling in to work today....I'm unable to sleep, and with the time change today, I just need an extra day to just be home and relax. Today I'm going to go to the doctor's office to get my pregnancy test. I'm excited because the test I took at home this morning is darker and much more easily photographed than even yesterday's pregnancy test.

The top one is from yesterday, the bottom one is this morning's test. I'm confident that I'll not be disappointed at today's visit.

I think I'll ask the doctor today about my gassiness due to the prenatals (and yes, I know that's what is causing it) and about my sleepless nights.

Hubby will be waking up soon to get ready for work, so I guess I'd better start getting ready myself. I'll be back with what the doctor says today.

information for future reference.

I'm sitting here and I'm starting to jump into the old classic book "What To Expect When You're Expecting" and I saw that one of the book marks I left in that book from the last time I was pregnant was left in the third month of pregnancy. I'm going to start all over from the first month and I was thinking of when I may have conceived.

So for future reference, I do believe that I conceived on February 19, 2014.

I did BD on Feb 19, 21, and 25. Any of those days could potentially be the day...but all of the fertility signs I charted (not including BBT or CM as I was not at that time charting those...) point to a time frame between Feb 13 and Feb 20 including a period tracker app on my cell phone.

All that said, it seems as though Feb 19 may have been my day.

As I said before, I'll be continuing to take my pg tests until I go to the doctors to see what they have to say. However, I think I've changed my mind about when I'm going to go. I think I'll get up super early tomorrow morning and go to the DR's office tomorrow before work and get tested then.

OMG!!!!

So, today I took another pregnancy test (as I'll be doing for the next few days yet) and my test actually came back positive! The line was actually dark enough that I managed to take a picture of the test.

So I tried to make an appointment to get a pregnancy test from my DR, but I guess I just have to walk in...so on Weds (my next day off) I'm going to go do just that, and I think I'll be testing every day until then.

It is so hard not to spill my guts and tell everyone that I'm pregnant, but after my last encounter with pregnancy, I dare not get too excited until I see at least a sonogram.

Testing again

last night I went to bed at my normal midnight. I woke up this morning at about 5AM. I don't understand why I can't seem to sleep more than 5 hours at night. So I woke up, took my BBT and got up to go POAS. Again, there was the faintest line that almost wasn't there.

Last night I had a dream that I was pregnant, pretty far along, and that the baby's head was prominent on the right side of my body....kinda sticking out a little...where you could put your hand there, and just know that the baby's head was there.

I spent a few hours last night looking at gender reveal ideas...I think I'll come up with some of my own ideas for that day when/if that day comes, but I do know that I don't want a baby shower in the traditional sense....I want the gender reveal party to be the baby shower, and I want to include men, women, and children. I'm even thinking we may do like a park BBQ.

I realize I'm a bit obsessive, and I can't seem to keep it to just one simple topic over here....it drives me nuts at times. I have all these thoughts running through my mind, and I have to express them.

pickles and ice cream

the classic pregnancy craving....well, today I was craving ice cream b/c my hubby dearest suggested that we get ice cream and pizza for tonight. It's uncanny that when he suggests something, I suddenly want it. Well at one point tonight I went to look in the fridge for something to snack on (not yet having gotten the ice cream b/c we got pies with our pizza instead) and I saw a can of zesty dill pickles which I have to say I did not much care for. Still having the ice cream craving, I told hubby w/o thinking that I wanted to go to the store for pickles and ice cream. I had to laugh at myself b/c as soon as I said it, I realized what it sounded like.

When we were leaving to the store to get said pickles and ice cream, I told hubby that the person at the counter was gonna give me a funny look seeing the purchase. He said "nah, probably not..." well we got to the store, and I found the items I wanted to buy...I had other items I wanted as well, but decided that I was too low on funds to get them and that I just wanted my snack items.

I got up to the counter, and there was a guy that rang me up...he rang up the pickles first and then the ice cream, and then he gave me a knowing sideways glance....I couldn't help myself, I had to laugh and I said "I know what it looks like..." and hubby chimed in telling him I'd been wanting the pickles for awhile, and the ice cream I wanted for desert tonight. The cashier then told me that his wife had that craving with their oldest son....and then proceeded to tell me that she would keep a bowl of dirt beside the bed and take a lick of dirt before bed each night.

Hubby and I had a good laugh the whole way home about the awkward look he gave me upon seeing my purchase.

pregnant?

I got  the package today that I was waiting for, and immediately grabbed a PT to see again what may come up....as I said yesterday/last night....I think I saw the faintest line on the test yesterday. I saw a faint line today. It's so faint, you can't barely make it out, but it's there. I keep saying I'll wait til CD 40 to test, but chances are I'm going to test every morning until then, hoping for a BFP.

In the meantime, I'm already noticing a few symptoms I had experienced last time I was pregnant....such as extreme heartburn, frequent urination, and a feeling of dehydration.

my hubby is being quite supportive in this whole thing, and I couldn't have asked for better. He's already treating it like I am already pregnant, and he's just hoping that the faint line gets a little darker. I keep telling him that it doesn't seem like my period is coming this month.

If I am indeed pregnant already, I don't know how I'm going to tell everyone this time. I don't think I'll tell them as soon as I did before. And of course the news is going to kill me not telling anyone right away!

I will at least have to tell my boss....especially if my DR. gives me a weight restriction like they did the last time.

I'll post more later.

midnight rant

I realize it hasn't been that long since my last post...bnt here it is 12:30 in the morning and I'm finding it difficult to get to sleep. Granted, it is my day off, and I'm allowed to stay up late (though, even if it was the middle of the week, I'd still be able to stay up late since I don't go into work until 2PM.) However, there is so much on my mind right now.

Today (Wed 3/5/14) I went down to get a dentist appointment with the only dentist that I trust so that I may get that required check-up that all the TTC books/websites etc say that it's best to get before getting pregnant. This appointment is set for May which granted, is a ways out...but I can only do it on certain days, and I am honestly picky about who gets to mess with my teeth.

It seems that the closer I get to time I'm expecting my AF, the more nervous I am getting. Partly because I hope I am pregnant, and partly because I kinda hope I'm not at the moment; as I don't yet have the medical OK to actually be pregnant.

The bad thing about being in my shoes is that my cycle can be anywhere from 29-36 days. It's never really the same, though it usually ranges closer to one end or the other. I had told myself I'd wait till CD 40 to take a PG test, but of course, my curiosity got the best of me today when I just had to check. And of course, I think it came out negative, though it almost seemed as if there were the faintest pink line.

Thursday (3/6/14) I'm expecting a package with my OPKs and PG tests. It'll be hard to keep my hands off of them, but I'll do my best. I know I won't waste the OPKs...but I almost have an obsession with taking PG tests. Granted, buying cheap ones is easy enough, I just have to go down to the local dollar store, and get 10-20 of them for $10-20.00.

I bought myself an E-book "What To Expect Before You're Expecting" I hope this book can shed a little light on what I can do to make this journey to finally becoming a mom. I'm still getting used to my E-reader as I've only had it a month now, and I had sampled this book before buying it. Then I couldn't figure out why it was that I was skipping over so many pages...then I realized I needed to clean up my E-reader and sync it so that it reflected the most accurate stuff. I realize I've gone off topic, and I'm bound to do that from time to time. Just as I'm bound to write a bunch of blogs right now about my journey, but maybe a month down the road I won't be so eager to write anymore...once all of my anxieties are down, and some time has passed allowing me to set my mind on other things.

It is now 1:24 AM and I'm still wide awake, though I am starting to get a little tired. The irony is that I'll probably be up early again tomorrow morning, not because I will it, but because I generally tend to go to bed late, and wake up early on my days off, whereas on work days I go to bed earlier and sleep in later....I'm not sure if that makes any sense at all..it's as though I want to enjoy more of my time off, and I want to be well rested during my work week...but I guess put that way, it makes perfect sense.

time passes slowly

So, I had started my last entry last night before I went to bed...and gotta say I was exhausted by the time I had finished it and got into bed (despite not actually being tired once I got into bed.)

Today is CD 33 and my longest cycle 36 days long, so I am expecting my period any day now. The thing is that I usually have pain for about 5 days straight before my AF arrives. Which I had felt some pain a few days ago for like 2 days. I know I could be over-thinking this whole thing, but as I posted last night, I did think earlier in my cycle that I may be pregnant. At the very least it's a possibility.

But then I look at my chart and my BBT is all over the place already. It shows up as a large V on my screen. Granted, I've only been charting my BBT for 3 days now. But I'm still not having any normal symptoms I get normally before my AF arrives.

I hate that when you're TTC, you start to over-think every little thing that happens, hoping for that BFP. I know I don't have the medical OK to TTC just yet, as I explained last night, but that doesn't stop me from kinda hoping that I am.

Though in another sense, I do hope that I'm not pregnant just yet so that I can make sense of my cycles.

Last time I had taken this path, I had a good running start, but I didn't have time even to chart one full cycle yet when the doctors had told me I was pregnant. I wonder if the same will happen this time.

People kept telling me that I should be sad that I had a chemical pregnancy. And I was...more upset that it didn't happen, and that I had to tell my closest relatives that it didn't take. But in a way, it was a small relief as I had to have the colposcopy and leep procedures as a result of 2 abnormal paps performed last year.

I know my thoughts are all over the map today, but this is why I have started this blog, to blog down my thoughts and feelings and my plan of attack this time arround.

On another note, I have decided to take a PG test on CD 40 if I have not yet had a visit from my AF. In plain English, that'll be March 12, 2014. Today is only the 5th so it's a bit of a wait for me, but pretty much, if I don't have my AF by March 8, I'll be forced to assume that I have already achieved my goal of getting pregnant.

I guess I have what you could call abnormal cycles...my cycles range from 29 to 36 days in length.

The start of my journey

So I literally started thinking about TTC again like 2 days ago, and already it feels like it's been an eternity since I made the decision to start along this path again.

For a little background on me, I had TTC last year in about Aug-Sept. My husband and I had really tried hard, and we both agreed that it'd be surprising if I didn't get pregnant. And following that I did have a chemical pregnancy. After that I had to have a colposcopy followed by a leep which meant we couldn't continue to try for a baby just yet. Now that both of those procedures are done and out of the way, I can start planning. No, I do not yet have the medical clearance to try, but for right now I'm simply going to start charting my BBT and my CM.

I'll officially have the medical OK to start TTC again on April 15, 2014.

In the meantime, I'm taking time to accumulate information, and a strategy plan to make this attempt. In this strategy plan, I've ordered some OPKs and I have a couple of other items I plan to get that are  said to assist along the way (a saliva ferning kit, and a fertile CM dietary supplement) I don't know if all of this will be necessary, but it couldn't hurt to try.

I hope all of this leads to something. Right now, I'm using a chart on www.myfertilitycharts.com since it is the best one I've found that I can use with my Kindle. Though personally I would prefer to use www.fertilityfriend.com and I'm not entirely convinced that I won't use both...one for convenience, and the other for confirmation/back up in my information.

As for this blog; this is my attempt to jot down all my feelings about the whole TTC ordeal I'm setting myself up to face. That and it is also being used to document my experiences.

So onto the documentation. Right now I'm on CD 33. I did believe earlier this cycle that I may be pregnant, but I do believe I was wrong, and I am currently awaiting my AF to arrive. I have thus far charted my BBT and my CM for CD 31-32. I also started prenatals on CD 31 and have been taking them alongside calcium (I do realize that the prenatals have calcium, but my body has seriously been lacking calcium lately as my nails have become more brittle than ever.)